He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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