'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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