I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
We're too hungover to prance.
These tits shall not be calmed
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
