Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
