i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
