He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Randomize
