I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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