just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
