what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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