I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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