What a fucking waste of an outfit
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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