I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
