you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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