i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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