from now on my penis is your penis
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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