so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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