Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
