every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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