Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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