I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
