I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
