she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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