It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
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