We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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