Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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