when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
