Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
