We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
