just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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