Apparently you make a good broom.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
