My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
