you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
