I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
