I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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