we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I didn't notice because vodka
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
