I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Randomize
