Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize