There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
