I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
