I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
