Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
