If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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