the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
