Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
