I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
