what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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