it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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