oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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