just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
