yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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