Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no you cant smoke seaweed
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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