Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
