I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Drake has all the answers
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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