Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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