why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
