so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
