it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
This is my gift to your gina
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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