talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
