How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Someone came in the potted fern
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
