Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
