it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
