Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Randomize
