she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
This is the prime rib incident all over again
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
