Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
