i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I party with great urgency now.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
