Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
