1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
