Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
